vvitchsdesire: (Default)
[personal profile] vvitchsdesire
ao3 || wattpad || ffnet

Title: a cleric's guide to heresy
Fandom: Something Dark And Holy Trilogy
Rating: G
Wordcount: 394
Summary: It's hard to doubt the word of the gods when they speak directly into one's brain.


It's hard to doubt the word of the gods when they speak directly into one's brain. Nadya, henceforth, never saw much reason to put stock into the heated debates she overheard in the monastery, discussing gods and if their appearance was similar or not to what painters and sculptors pictured - to discuss their existence, in a world where clerics wielded their power, felt as futile as it was.

Nadya, herself, could not fathom the idea of questioning the gods' appearance - scratch that: she never thought of questioning. Why question? If she had any questions, all she had to do was tap the power of the gods, ask them her doubt, and be answered promptly.

Now, however - with every knock on the door of the gods being met with deliberate, painful silence -, Nadya wondered if perhaps she should've listened to these debates. Maybe the gods weren't as good and gracious as they seemed to be. Maybe Pelageya was right, maybe the gods only liked Nadya as long as they could control her, as long as she could be their little puppet. Now that the strings were cut, now that the doll realized she could move on her own, the gods abandoned their play toy.

Perhaps they already had another cleric in the works: one that would not fall prey to powers the gods disliked. One that would follow the beat of their drums. One that would not stick herself in Tranavia for a plan destined to collapse.

She reached for the gods. The gods silently ignored her: Nadya could feel their presence, just out of reach, as if for every step she gave towards them, they gave one backward.

There was power within her, and Nadya… Could she use it? The gods were like a family to her, her many mothers and fathers and uncles and aunts. To use it was to turn away from them, but they had already turned away from her.

The scar in her hand throbbed with dark, forbidden magic - magic that belonged to her only: not from Marzenya, not from any other god. Nadya's own power, inexplicable as it was -, and Nadya stared at it, hesitating for a long second before she closed her fingers, forming a fist, a decision being taken.

If the gods wanted to punish her for having magic of her own, fine: she'd be a heretic.